Ever since my last boyfriend, few guys have tickled my funnybone and I must admit I've let someones to tickle me a bit more than that. Only one guy has tickled my heart but I guess I didn't do the same for him. This brings me to the topic I had in mind. I already wrote about how can you tell the other person is interested but how do you know he (or she) is the one for you. How can you know you like the one you're with?
Now, this might sound simple but if you really think about it, there're a lot of things that can blind us. If there's a nice guy and we reeeeeaaallly want to like them, we might convince ourselves he is the one. That might work for a while but in the end the only result will be unhappiness.
Do you check your messages constantly because you want to hear all about his day or are you just bored? Do you like the attention he is giving to you? Do you want to see him so you can gently pet his head and just be with him or do you want to see him because you need your head to be petted? Do you think of him when you're doing something he might like or do you think of him only because the company would be nice? Do you want to learn about the stuff he is interested because you are interested in the things he is or do you just feel it's obligated of you because you have something going on? Would you do stupid things because he asked for it or are you willing to do absolutely batshitcrazy things just for the heck of it? Do you like him for what he is or what you imagine would suit you? Do you read her blog because you want to get to know her better or is just way too cool blog to pass?
If you think of him when you're not really supposed, if you find yourself thinking: he would like this, this would be fun with him, I can't wait to tell him about this, how long do I have to wait before I get to meet him again? - then you're screwed. Congratulation, you like someone. Unless you're a weirdo who is just obsessed. In that case I can highly recommend pets. Especially cats like when you're obsessed with them.
I don't really know what I think of "the friendzone". You can't be in the zone if you hadn't made some kind of effort to get there. Though the person of your dreams might not have thought about these questions hard enough to know that there will be nothing between the two of you. Or he doesn't notice the signs (he, she, whatever). One can't ever really know what goes on with two people, but if a guy hangs out with a girl a lot and even does the dishes for her, I'm pretty sure he has thought of most of those questions.
But when is it time to beg for it and when it's time to realise it's not going to happen?
Few posts ago we had a lovely little conversation about lyrics that has made a strong impact on our lives and a person hiding behind the nickname Davan brought The Cure's Boys Don't Cry to our attention. The lyrics really made me think and they are a bit contradictory. It says:
I would break down at your feet
And beg forgiveness
Plead with you
But I know that
It's too late
And now there's nothing I can do
But it also states that:
Now I would do most anything
To get you back by my side
To that I want to say that it's never too late. It's never too late to say you're sorry. If you're willing to do almost anything then go effin do it! Don't let yourself be too scared for trying. What is there to lose anymore? If it is too late, then it already was too late. If it's not, then goddamned you're a lucky sonofabitch. But if it's time to let go, then let it go. Good luck and godspeed with that. It's so hard to let go, but it's easier when there's no hope of anything happening between the two of you. Still, you can't keep on hanging on to something that's going nowhere.
Btw. if you ever need someone to talk to or want to ask advice (though I'm in no means an expert), you can reach me through Kik. My username is Iarna (with an i) and the name is from the time I still used to play Runes of Magic and RP with these wonderful people. Damn I miss RP'ing.
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