This ain't your fairytale

I had a totally different topic in mind when I started to write my last post. I guess I got carried away with the weird confusion I'm under and it was more like diary than blog. The thing I was originally going to write was about a quote from my friend. He said "It's easy to write I love you" meaning that it doesn't take much physical effort to do so.

It made me think (yes, yes, I think too much) about what is easy to say and what is not. We probably all know how hard it is to tell someone we like them or that we love them. But for me at least it's even harder to say I don't like someone. Example: a person is head over heels for you but you don't feel the same way. It's never easy to let them down gently. How do you say "I don't like you back" without hurting someone in the process?

Another example: There's this person in my school who I've hanged out (in classes and such) quite a bit. I've had hard times deciding do I like him as a person or not. There's just something about him that irritates the crap out of me. He says other and emotes other and I just can't read him. I'm used to being able to read people - sometimes too well. He is unreadable. And I know he could read me. I hated the fact that he could see inside my head but I couldn't his. Last spring he changed a lot, and not for the good. It tipped me over the edge and I had to tell him that I didn't like the change and I didn't like him. Why did I care enough to say that to him? Why didn't I just avoid his company like a normal person? Perhaps I see some hope in him, he is not a bad person. I don't think my opinion means that much to him, but I hope he reconsider his change (which was consciously made).

In relationships no one likes to be stringed along. It's important to be honest and say how you feel even if it creates a mess. If you don't like the other person you're dealing with, say so. Don't let them build up castles in the sky that are only going to shatter. I'm a black-and-white person in sense that I can usually tell quite quickly if there is something or not. Sometimes though I need time and I want to see is my first intuition wrong. Until this point it hasn't been but there's a time for everything.

So my advice - yet again - is that talk to people around you. Tell how you feel because none of us is a mind reader. It's not the end of the world for the other person to hear you say you don't care that much for them. The hoping hurts more than you saying "I'm just not that into you".

I think it's easier to love than hate as feelings, but it's easier to talk about hate than love. Sometimes it's easier to hurt someone than being honest. It doesn't take much effort, just a little courage, to write "I love you". It's much harder to write the opposite. You would want to know and so does the people around you. So be brave and tell how you feel.