"I'd give a kingdom for one more day as a king of your world. If I was a king I would give away my kingdom. Treasures and a crown wouldn't mean a thing if I only had a heart."
That's bits and pieces of lyrics from Sonata Arctica's song "Kingdom for a heart".
Listening to it made me think I've never loved anyone so badly I would give away my kingdom. Especially for just one more day. Is there even such kind of love? Does it exist? Have you ever talked to a person who says he has loved so deeply he is willing to give everything to get that feeling back? And do people really want to give their everything to feel love or to feel loved? I think there's a big difference.
For most time of my life I've said I have 52 personalities and then few jokers here and there to spice things up. Lately I've narrowed it down to few and I've compared them to my WoW characters. There's Penny, my banker alt and the leader of the guild. She is smart, organised, shares her motherly love around and ponders about current state the world is in. There's Luci, the RP character, who is girly, giggly, bubbly, over thinking and up for having fun. There's Dan the man, already deleted char, who makes pervy jokes and calls everyone a dude or sugar muffin and whose best pick up line is "wanna wrestle?". And then there's Carnation, the hooded Death Knight, who is beautiful but sits in the dark corner, enjoying the gloomy shadows and listens to Sonata Arctica.
Most often I think I'm Penny, but the change can be sudden or for short while. It can also be something in between, like last night when I had a chat with a guy who threatened to tie me in a bed and tickle me. It's so hard to control, when Dan wants to make jokes back, Luci wants to delightfully giggle and Penny just yells that this conversation has gone too far!
I don't know if everyone has such clear boarders on the personalities, I guess not. And I think many of you sit there thinking that it's not for me either. Penny, Luci, what ever, same person still. But to me, in my head, they are easy to divide. And no, I'm not schizophrenic. I know all those personalities are the same person and they are who makes me me.
I also consider myself a mix up between Belle and the Beast. I sit alone in my cottage, sometimes too scared to look in the mirror and thinking everyone hates me. Haven't had random bursts of anger in a long time, but I know the ability to claw a few paintings is somewhere in there. Rawr!
But I'm also Belle, the brown haired girl who likes to sing, thinks herself to be different, reads books over and over again and thinks most of the town's people are idiots. Also stupid enough to go after a person dear to her to a deep dark forest and to offer herself to be locked up for ultimate sacrifice. And then fall for the guy who holds the key to the prison...
Also that library gives me the biggest ladyboner ever!
The biggest question however is:
For who could ever learn to love a beast. Or a Belle (other than Gaston).
For who could ever learn to love a Beastelle?
No comments:
Post a Comment